Hi, I’m Christy Casimiro. This is my second year with MHWTC. Last year I was named “Most Determined” member of the club, and I think most people would agree that I’m one of the most enthusiastic people on the planet (hopefully, not in an annoying way). I also think that most people would be surprised to discover that I have battled anxiety and depression for much of my adult life.
Happy, healthy, safe and secure. That’s one of my mantras. Songs from The Sound of the Music; they comfort me too. By all accounts, I have a blessed life. Husband who adores me, three beautiful (young, wild) children and passion for one of the healthiest pursuits there is: triathlon.
When my first child was born, four years ago, I was convinced, CONVINCED, there were baby-nappers out there, plotting to kipnap her from me. ALL the time. It was exhausting. I couldn’t enter my house without first checking every closet/bathroom/under all the beds, etc for intruders waiting to pry my bundle of joy from my arms. I had my husband put extra locks on every door. I insisted on getting an alarm system installed. I put up “beware of dog” signs all around my house – alerting people of our oh-so-NOT-ferocious black lab. I could not sleep. I lay in bed at night thinking about all the windows and doors in our house, and sure that baby-nappers were on their way to get her. It was, to be frank, hell. I was suffering from anxiety and post-partum depression and didn’t even know it.
I used the mantras I mentioned above. I tried to talk to my friends and my husband. But mostly, I suffered in silence because I was afraid of sounding crazy. I had wanted a baby so badly, for so long, that it didn’t occur to me I could have post-partum depression. And I’d been treated for anxiety before, years ago, but my husband and I didn’t recognize the symptoms this time because we were a *tad* sleep deprived.
It wasn’t until our second child was born, less than two years later, that I realized what I was feeling was not, in fact, normal. And I sought help. Talking to my doctor, and anti-depressive medicine, have done wonders for me.
I can’t remember the last time I checked under a bed for a baby-napper! Thank god! I do, however, get awfully anxious about cars. My fears and anxieties are so powerful that I can’t even type them out.
Happy, healthy, safe and secure. Happy, healthy, safe and secure. Doe, ray, me, fa, sew, la, tea, doe!!!!
Currently, my depression is mostly under control, most days… My hormones have definitely taken a beating, having three babies in less than four years. So I TRY to be kind to myself. When I find myself slipping into a funk…I evaluate my thoughts, and talk to a few close friends and my husband. I do everything in my power to feel better. For me, that means eating healthy, NOT junking out on six candy bars after lunch, getting at least 8 hours sleep a night, and working out at least 4-5 times a week. Those are the things I CAN control, and I CAN do for myself to make myself feel as good as possible.
So I try. I try to appreciate each day for what it is, and to muster through the harder moments knowing that they will pass. Some days are harder than others. Some days are easier.
I hope that by sharing part of my story with you, if you too have battled, or are battling anxiety or depression, you don’t feel so alone. I can’t believe I’m sharing this with all of you. Now please excuse me while I go hide in a closet. Doe, ray, me, fa, sew, la, tea, doe!!!!